Values Added: Monogamish Edition (Dan Savage & Ross Douthat)

[unhandyandy]

Originally Posted by whburgess

As far as I could tell, the only disagreement between these two was that Savage wants to end the public perception that monogamy is the normative goal in marriage, and Ross wants to keep that public perception.
If there was any other disagreement, I missed it.

I think Ross is right that if monogamy was not the public perception of the norm in marriage that many people who would really be unhappy with non-monogamous marriage would feel pressured to enter them anyway. I think this would especially be the case with a lot of women.

Two problems with this:

The simpler and more powerful solution is to empower women not to feel pressured to do anything.

If you do want to define a social norm, how is it done? Is there some Social Norm Registry where the pundit class can issue decrees and the unwashed can turn to for enlightenment?