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listener
06-10-2010, 12:36 AM
Someone forwarded me this in an e-mail a while back, and while I was looking for something else, I came across it again. I thought it might be amusing for others as well.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a U.S. radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a U.S. resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality? I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16.

Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.


Your devoted fan,

bjkeefe
06-10-2010, 01:27 AM
Someone forwarded me this in an e-mail a while back, and while I was looking for something else, I came across it again. I thought it might be amusing for others as well.

Did you ever see the episode of The West Wing where one of the subplots involved a bunch of talk radio people gathering at the White House?

Here's the scene I had in mind (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD52OlkKfNs) when I read what you passed along. (About four minutes.)

listener
06-10-2010, 05:11 AM
Did you ever see the episode of The West Wing where one of the subplots involved a bunch of talk radio people gathering at the White House?

Here's the scene I had in mind (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD52OlkKfNs) when I read what you passed along. (About four minutes.)

No, I hadn't seen that. The similarity is more than striking. I received that email in 2001, and if the clip came from the 2nd season of West Wing (which would have been in 2000), then it makes me wonder if the email was based on that very scene. (Much) stranger things have happened. Thanks for noticing and calling my attention to the parallelism.

bjkeefe
06-10-2010, 05:46 AM
No, I hadn't seen that. The similarity is more than striking. I received that email in 2001, and if the clip came from the 2nd season of West Wing (which would have been in 2000), then it makes me wonder if the email was based on that very scene. (Much) stranger things have happened. Thanks for noticing and calling my attention to the parallelism.

The email had the feel of part of that scene being typed out, mailed out, and then people adding on to it as it was emailed around. Which is fine, in a lot of ways -- we all build on each other's ideas, and sometimes that means riffing on a very specific theme. Also, it is clear that character in Dub-Dub is supposed to remind everyone of "Dr." Laura, and I'm sure Aaron Sorkin is not the first guy to make a list of Old Testament rules for comic effect.

BTW, I don't know if you ever watched that show back in the day, but the first four seasons are about the best television I have ever seen. If you're casting about for some DVDs to get from Netflix or something, you could do a whole lot worse than getting those. Just absolutely brilliant writing. That scene is okay as a standalone, but within the hour of that show, it's the kind of thing that makes you stand up and cheer.